When Blanche Devereaux is your best friend

When Blanche Devereaux is your best friend

We've all had that friend whom we love dearly and wholeheartedly, but who may have something you don't and it makes you feel inadequate; maybe it was better grades in school, maybe a more successful career, more money, successful romantic relationships, etc. Whatever the case, despite our genuine love for the person, their successes in one avenue or another can sometimes make us feel less than and therefore, cause us to sometimes have a tarnished view of them or their motives.


When Blanche Devereaux is your best friend I imagine it must be challenging to then introduce your suitor(s) to her, knowing that she seems to get just about any man she wants when so many fawn over her. And if you're someone who deals with insecurity around trusting men as well as not fitting into the traditional sense of femininity (i.e. Dorothy), it's understandable why this scenario could rattle you. This is true in the episode above where Blanche reveals to Dorothy that the man she's seeing is a douche and hit on her. Dorothy immediately rejects this notion and accuses Blanche of jealousy based on her past.

Blanche is known for being a sex-crazed, man chasing jezebel who goes after whoever she wants whenever she wants. Part of this is true; she does in fact have many suitors and does take liberties with pursuing men. Unfortunately, when it comes to women in our society, this tenacious attitude is look down upon especially when it comes to sex. Time and time again, Blanche is not trusted and her motives are questioned when she's merely trying to protect her very important friendships or she just plain hasn't done anything. She is accused of trying to break up relationships, sleazing up local campaign elections, sleeping with her friends' husbands and more.

Although we don't see this build up inside her, I imagine it must be very lonely. It also speaks to a larger societal problem that has been around since socialization began and continues today; women being pitted against women in competition for the attention of (and ultimately, selection by) men.* And if women are socialized to believe that then other women are not allies; they are competition and not to be trusted.

The bottom line

I encourage all women and women-identified individuals to take this message and use it to wipe their ass as many times as needed until it no longer exists. (Meaning as many separate occasions a necessary for this to happen; not to wipe your ass raw.) Praising other women and lifting each other up for our unique strengths will bring us so much more joy and solidarity than tearing each other down. 

Seriously, next time you're doing your thing take some TP, imagine it as all those horsesh*t messages you get from people, the media, politicians, books, music and any other sources and say the following:


::Then go for it. That'll show 'em:: 

I'm just sayin, ya'll; things are only "the way they are" if we buy into them, if we don't challenge them and if we accept them. The more we question and push back (be it misogyny, racism, homophobia, transphobia, etc.) little by little, those things can't retain the status of "the way things are."

In friendship and cheesecake, 




*This is also an incredibly patriarchal heteronormative approach to society and relationships, and fails to acknowledge any of gender identities and/or relationships. But hey, that's how oppression works, right?

If anyone knows how to give 'the look,' it's our Girls!

If anyone knows how to give 'the look,' it's our Girls!

Texts with the Girls <br/>(Part 2)

Texts with the Girls
(Part 2)