The Broken Hip Group
Sophia: The Senior Citizens Center is divided into 3 cliques; the hip group, the not-so hip group and the broken hip group. Which group would you want to be in??
Growing up until about high school I never felt cool enough. "Guuuurl, are you serious?!" you're thinking. "Check you out in fourth grade!"
Believe it or not, friends, I always felt like I didn't have the right clothes, haircut, interests, etc. That was in part because a sh*tty group of loud-mouthed kids at school made fun of my friends and I because our parents didn't have a ton of money to buy new, updated clothes every year. Therefore, I had quite a few hand-me-downs and shockingly, fashion wasn't at the forefront of my mind when I was between 6 and 12 years old so I never really took action (not that I had the resources or power to do so.) I played cello in our school orchestra, got decent grades and just played with my friends.
I was foolish enough to buy into what those turds were telling me (be it directly or indirectly) about my level of awesomeness. After years of being bombarded with that message, eventually it becomes more like an accepted fact than an acknowledgement of someone else's opinion.
Then in junior high I started experimenting with a style and clothing that actually felt comfortable to me. It started with grunge (plaid shirts, polyester pants, yadda yadda...) By the time I went to high school it was goth at one point and over to wide leg jeans, those neck chain things, baby tees, sweater vests over collared shirts, etc. I started feeling more like myself, but was still made fun of by some because I was the only one of my group of friends who was seriously into these looks. Those people called me a "poser," as if following the beat of my own drum made me a poser, and what made them not posers was wearing what their group was collectively wearing. It never made sense to me and I started caring less and less.
By the time I got to my junior year I'd stopped giving any f*cks whatsoever, because what I started seeing was that more people (in all different cliques) appreciated that I was just myself and thought I was cool because I was me. I also just wanted to be around people who were genuine, fun, nice and shared my interests: not necessarily my style choices. It was great, but I still noticed for years after that I would know I wasn't with the "cool/popular" crowd and although it didn't bother me nearly as much, I still felt it to some extent. It's embarrassing to write now because as you enter adulthood, at some point, you start to realize that the people who still believe they are the in-crowd are really just a bunch of turds. And look at our Golden Girls; if any of that stuff really mattered as adults, do you think there would even be a shot in hell that they'd end up so close?
I think it's really easy, especially at such a young age, to be influenced by what other people are thinking and saying about you and sometimes, those thoughts and impressions stick with you for a while. Knowing myself now, there's not a shot in hell I'd want to be like those actual "posers." I've come to appreciate and value my quirks and see how much more awesome they are than being a person who just follows what everyone else is doing because they're too afraid to by authentic.
If given the option, I would still choose the broken hip group any day if it meant I could be around the awesome people I know who appreciate and love me and the entire package that is Hillary.
In friendship and cheesecake,