Finding Love Again
Each of us has been known to make a mistake or two...or twenty that we know were not in our best interest. I find that this often takes the form of the wrong relationships.
I think the best example of this from the Golden Girls was Dorothy and Stan's on-again, off-again relationship. I would think one episode of cheating would be enough to have to move past in a serious partnership, but 38 years of it?! I get that Dorothy really believed that Stan had changed for the better and I'm not saying it's not possible as a general concept, but...I mean, look at the facts, Dottie!
One thing that has always helped me in the past when confronted with the possibility of ending a relationship after trying again and again to make it work, was to say to myself what I've said to good friends of mine in this scenario (and it has NEVER steered my friends or me wrong):
This is it.
This is the relationship you are in. It will never change, and how you are feeling now is how you will always feel. If you're okay with that, then by all means stay where you are and enjoy the good times when this passes. If whatever crappiness you're feeling now is what you feel more often than not, it will not go away and this is how you will feel most of the time while you're in this relationship. Are you okay with that?
It can be so hard sometimes when you're IN it. Thoughts that I've had when I considered ending a relationship were, What if it's a mistake? Have I really worked hard enough to call it quits? Am I just giving up? What if no one else ever loves me this much again for the rest of my life?
That last one was usually the one that weighed the heaviest on me. Oh younger Hillary, I wish I could sit you down and assure you that life will go on and you will absolutely find love again. And Dorothy, you will too! As we know, she does in fact re-marry and find love again.
When it comes to anything worth waiting for, I think Steve Jobs said it best:
If you haven't found it yet, keep looking. Don't settle. As with all matters of the heart, you'll know when you find it.
In friendship and cheesecake,