Friendships are SO HARD this season
I posted about this topic last week, but I wanted to re-visit because I feel as though this theme keeps resurfacing and seems to the baseline at during this life season.
We all know that the main theme within The Golden Girls is friendship. We see these women, living their best lives even if those best lives don't involve crap tons of money, complete ease or weekly pedicures. (Remember, Blanche doesn't get those *weekly* - only enough to cover the months when she's wearing open toed sandals. Duh.)
During the seven seasons of this show, their friendships become the center of their lives.
It reminds me of my high school, college days and early adult days. How freakin' easy was it to maintain friendships when you're all in the same place at the same time for years? It was legitimately the most effortless maintenance ever (especially in high school between classes, after school activities, etc.) because you had no choice but to go.
Fast forward at least a decade (::ahem:: two decades for some of us) and friendship is something you have to maintain. I'm talking the entire experience of being an adult:
Perhaps you have to work overtime a lot to make rent, which leaves you little free time
Maybe you have a sick relative who needs you to care for them and takes up all your time
Maybe you need to take time to just be with *yourself*
Perhaps you need to put more work into your relationship
Maybe you have a child with special needs (or just a child, in general!) and that sh*t is no joke between their birthdays, friends, family obligations, trying to spend time with them and make sure you mold them into a decent human being...not that I have ANY thoughts or anxiety on this topic whatsoever...
Adulthood makes things really complicated.
Each season requires something different from us, and sometimes our friendships have to take a back seat because our seasons just don’t match up. Life gets in the way and everyone has so much to do. Priorities are different and it makes our shared availability really difficult to fuse.
Sometimes I see people who seem to maintain that Golden level of friendship through all this and think to myself, ‘What am I doing wrong? Clearly it’s doable!’
Then I remember that none of us share completely identical life circumstances. Maybe…
That person doesn’t need much sleep (or at least, not as much as I do.)
Their child is extraordinarily chill and therefor, frees up energy.
They are far less introverted than I seem to be right now (a topic for another day.)
They are a SAHP and need that social interaction.
They are really good at prioritizing friendships.
Their family lives far away and their friends are their source of support.
They have a nanny who picks up a lot of slack and therefor, frees up energy to devote to friendships.
WHO THE HELL KNOWS?! The point is that people handle this season in different ways (be it adulthood with or free of children) and it’s good to know from most of the friends I love so much that we’re all in this adulthood thing together. We may not have the same priorities or goals, but we’re all trying our best and most understand why we must prioritize the way we do.
IT’S JUST F*CKING HARD RIGHT NOW.
The Golden Girls give me so much comfort when I think about how in the future, my attention and energy will be able to shift once again more on those friendships that are so incredibly important to me.
I look forward to the day when I have more time and resources to give, but right now the majority are going to my kids and my business. I know that a majority of my close friends, who are very much like me, understand and are going through a lot of similar experiences and struggles in juggling everything life is throwing at us.
What kinds of factors (if any!) have kept you from maintaining a Golden Girls level friendship?
In friendship and cheesecake,