That’s me: a Hot Mess [Mom]
I started thinking about this because one of my fellow Instagram moms, Meghan Cealleigh, brought this up in her stories recently and it got me thinking about how that phrase sums me up in a pretty perfect way.
I often do things out of order or try to multi-task a LOT. I have to keep a list with all my ideas because they constantly pop up out of NOWHERE and make me feel seriously disorganized. I still have teacher presents to give my son’s teachers from the end of the year and the end of the summer. (It’s October 10, in case you weren’t aware.) I find it difficult to keep my spaces neat and organized, but I also get overwhelmed at the thought of having to clean because my head compartmentalizes everything into a) things I have to worry about, and b) things I don’t have to worry about. I feel like I’m always running late. My hair is rarely styled. I can’t remember everything about everything, but I can remember what I wore to the after-prom party when I was a senior in high school. I don’t check my bank balance every day and my clean laundry can sit in the basket , folded for up to a month before I get to put it away. I constantly feel like I’m building the plane as I’m flying it.
In the episode, Three On A Couch, the Girls go to a therapist together to resolve their roommate issues. In their appointment, they delve into their personality differences; Dorothy being very neat, organized and efficient while Rose and Blanche are a little more…free-spirited.
Don’t get me wrong; there are many advantages to approaching life’s daily tasks and responsibilities in a strict and disciplined way, but it’s not perfect for everyone. In fact, that type of approach can be pretty constricting and cause a serious amount of anxiety (I know it does for me!)
We’re given so many messages in various aspects of life that says, “This is the right way to do things,” and quite frankly, that’s horsesh*t in all cases.
…unless we’re talking about basic human decency like, I dunno, not harming other people because you feel like it. That’s really a non-negotiable IMO, but I digress.
Whether it’s the diet we should keep, “ideal” body shape, gender expression, parenting, career choices and/or moves as a result of said choices, etc. All these things in life depend on a variety of factors, personality traits, finance, class, etc. The human condition has never and will never be linear nad clear cut, so to place expectations on everyone for things that only work for some is preposterous.
Plus, if being thrown into parenthood doesn’t convince at least some people that “good enough” is actually awesome then nothing will.
Rose pretty perfectly sums up how it sometimes feels to be a hot mess mom:
She doesn’t have to lord it over us, and criticize us for not living up to her standards.
Also, as a hot mess [mom], I can guarantee you that no one will judge less if someone’s house isn’t neat, their living room doesn’t look like a Pinterest picture or someone can’t recall exact anythings. I am loyal, fun, creative, ready to listen and fiercely committed to raising my kids to be positive, forward-thinking contributors to society.
All humans are here, just trying to do the best we can with what we have. And if that means that some of us (ahem: me) are less than perfect, do things out of order and appear to never look or feel fully pulled together, then that’s what it means.
I’m starting to be okay with it.
In friendship and cheesecake,