Your *New* New Normal
Its been quite the couple weeks, ya'll. On June 20th I started writing the following:
I'm pretty impatient for this little bugger to get here. As of today, I am 39w2d pregnant. I don't know if, when this is posted, he will have arrived or not. I sure hope so!
Generally speaking, people are not great with change. I'm downright awful when it comes to change; when I know it's coming but hasn't actually happened yet I'm uncomfortable, impatient, emotional and just want things to change and settle once again so I can get used to it. The whole idea of being in limbo brings out a lot of anxiety. Moving, starting a new job, giving birth, ending a relationship, etc. are events that are huge changes and can have lasting impact. This is likely why I get so bajiggity; when I can't see what's coming it makes me really anxious.
I imagine this was something the Girls had to get used to when the course of their lives changed after once again becoming single. They spent decades with their husbands, building a life and family together only to end up back at their starting point: as single women. That timeframe between the death and/or break up, picking up the pieces and deciding the next step (even if not their final one) must have been extremely challenging.
My second kid came into this world on June 21 and while he's awesome, anyone who has brought a newborn home knows that what it essentially means is that your home and life are thrown into complete disarray for at least a few months. I've been once again reacquainted with the cumbersome feeling that comes with breastfeeding, and not yet fully being able to separate myself from my son despite the fact that he's now officially a separate being.
This post isn't about giving birth so I'll get right to the point; I needed to do something that felt normal to me to ground me a little in what I was used to before I gave birth. I said to my husband, 'Can we go to the diner, just the three of us, on Saturday like we normally would?' He was willing and we did, although it did involve some tears on my end.
I remembered that I wrote this post a while back about how after my first son, I was waiting for things to go back to normal and how ridiculous that concept was in hindsight. I still feel equal parts silly for feeling this way now BUT what I wanted to point out was that at the time we had our first baby, I couldn't imagine that ever feeling normal to me. And just like that, we have a second baby and I'm looking back to time with just one kid as my normal. It gives me a lot of hope that I will eventually adjust and settle into our NEW new normal just as I did with my first.
Change is awesome. It brings about new opportunities and more than likely, you will adjust to it. If you're going through a huge change right now and are SUPER uncomfortable, fit in some time for self-care that returns you to what you're used to. That could be a show you watch every night at a specific time, a morning routine, a mantra to repeat to yourself in the shower, healing crystals, whatever. Personally, I look to Dorothy's quote:
All right, Rose, so your life isn’t the same as it used to be. The rules have changed, but its happened before, hasn’t it? …What did you do the next day when you had to start putting your life back together?…You did what you had to do.
In friendship and cheesecake,