What the hell is the deal with mentality that there’s not enough?*
Are there times when you see someone who is having success in some capacity and you feel a ping of, what Blanche would call magenta? Blanche describes magenta as a feeling in the following way:
That’s what I call it when I get that way: all kinds of feelings tumbling all over themselves. Well you know you’re not quite blue because you’re not really sad. And although you’re a little bit jealous you wouldn’t say you’re green with envy. And every now and then you realize you’re kind of scared, but you’d hardly call yourself yellow. I hate that feeling, I just hate it. And I hate the color magenta!
Our culture has this incredibly negative view revolving around the idea of scarcity; be it love, creativity or beauty it feels like there’s only so much that can go around and if someone has an abundance, well I guess everyone else is SOL. This typically results in feeling like a big ole’ piece of crap, stewing in jealousy or other negative feelings. When you really and truly break it down, any time we’re feeling envious of someone for anything at all, it can really be distilled down to the feeling that they have something you want and if they have it, that means you can’t.
What in the Sam Hell is that about? It doesn’t even make sense.
Life isn’t a bakery you have to get to before the pie sells out! There will always be more pie!
Sure, some people naturally have an abundance of certain pie…er, qualities or traits. To think that because someone has A that means that you can’t also have A is complete and unadulterated horsesh*t. Maybe it won’t be in the same capacity. Maybe it won’t look exactly the same but for the love of Betty White, it is absolutely possible!
Consider the Golden Girls and their different abundances:
While anyone who looks at this list will know exactly which character possesses which trait in abundance, each women does in fact possess all of them in her own way. Sure, Dorothy kicks a** when it comes to Jeopardy, but you ask Blanche to teach a workshop on flirting with men and she will deliver.
Sophia may be the oldest character, but she can bring the glamour!
Granted, Rose had many St. Olaf stories that never seem to end but there’s always a lesson to learn.
Dorothy is typically known as the realist/borderline pessimist, but she has her moments!
When I was in graduate school I constantly felt like I was scrambling around to fit this mold of what was considered to be creative and successful as a designer. It seemed like there was only one way to think, one presentation of ideas, one style, etc. I constantly felt like there was a handful of students who were the ideal, put on a pedestal (like the “in crowd” for adults) and everything they did was essentially gold.
Spoiler alert: I was not one of them.
Looking back, I’m glad I pursued my own path and now use design as a tool to express my ideas, opinions and stances on topics I find to be extraordinarily important. This wasn’t popular and did not always yield in the sexiest design. It did not yield me winning any design awards and that’s fine. The people who were part of the “in crowd” are in fact creative and produce great work, but so do I. Their creativity did nothing to deplete mine, and it still does not.
Remember y’all - there’s an abundance out there. It’s up to us to jump into it.
In friendship and cheesecake,
*I feel the need to touch on this - there are absolutely things that are lack for people of particular ethnicities, socioeconomic groups, gender identities, etc. That calls for a far heavier and in depth conversation. I’m not addressing hard injustices, but rather the qualities and experiences that make us all human.